Up all night next to my sleeping boyfriend. I'm searching the interweb for apartments and jobs in Oceanside, CA. Up all night, because after work tomorrow the boyfriend and I are making a random, spurt of the moment, 7 hour drive to Oceanside. Staying in a fancy little Motel 6 for the weekend while we hunt.
Taking you back to last week...
My father calls and asks me if boyfriend and I would like to have him fly us down to southern California to come visit him for the weekend. We both say "awesome!" sounds like a fun time. I ask for work off; boyfriend doesn't have plans, so great, its a deal. We are intended to leave tomorrow. Father calls today...oh by the way, I'm not able to by those plane tickets for you guys. We both say again "AWESOME!" "Super fantastic dad...you totally didn't F up our plans. Because of course we had an ulterior motive for wanting that free plane ticket to southern California. Yes, this may seem like a selfish thing to do. Yes, I would have liked to visit my father before he moves to Ecuador next month (and yes that is out of the country..in South America to be exact), but we also wanted to visit Oceanside while there. Our future home together. Or at least we hope. See...we still have yet to visit this amazing place called Oceanside.
Boyfriend graduates school in September and we hope to move to southern California at that time. I will hopefully just transfer Starbucks' until I am able to find a job that I am more suited for (as I am of course always searching for). His school will be setting him up with interviews for jobs down there. All we need to do now is find a place to live. Seems simple right? Well not so simple from a distance. Damn that 7 hour drive.
So today comes, skip past the phone call with father..skip to conversation with boyfriend when I tell him.. "No, sorry honey...as usual, my father is reliably unreliable. No plane tickets. Ahh poop!" Boyfriend then comes up with the brilliant plan to use our free weekend of nothingness to drive down there instead. Scrap some money together for that fancy motel room and vwala! Were going on a weekend hunting adventure.
The End.
Now it's time for little me to hit the pillow for my day of work and long drive.
I will let you know how that job/apartment hunt goes...if we make it back alive! Dun Dun Dun!!!
(Obviously I am running on no sleep now. Please excuse my ridiculousness in this entire post.)
Nighty Night!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
My Bucket List
I was thinking about the different things I want to accomplish in my life time; so what I did was I started searching different things other people wanted to accomplish and I came across this website http://www.squidoo.com/100things. It was very helpful! It had about 500 different suggestions on what to add to your list and how to start one. I have so far only come up with 54 out of my 100 goals I plan to set for myself. But so far I have completed one out of those 54 goals..Start a blog! Well here we are. I know that the best way to make myself do something is to tell other people about it, that way they can keep me accountable. So now I'm telling all of you. Here I go; in no specific order:
1. Ride a mechanical bull
2. Learn to bartend
3. Run a marathon
4. Ride in a hot air balloon
5. Learn to fly a plane
6. Learn to drive a manual transmission vehicle (I kind of know, but not well so..)
7. Learn to work on cars
8. Buy and/or rebuild a classic car
9. Travel to Tuscany, Italy
10. Oktober Fest in Germany
11. The Love Parade in Berlin, Germany
12. Visit Rome
13. Visit Seattle/Pike Place Market
14. Move to the ocean
15. Go on a cruise
16. Learn to surf
17. Write and book and publish it
18. Learn to play pool, well
19. Discover what makes me truly happy
20. Find my passions
21. Allow myself to make mistakes
22. Discover my life's purpose
23. Learn to not take what others do or say personally
24. Learn to be my own person
25. Develop general knowledge on important topics (ex. history of thought, knowledge, America. Learn geography. Politics)
26. Learn to spell well
27. Learn to do math well
28. Build a structure (ex. dog house, wooden chest)
29. Learn to be informed
30. Become a wine connoisseur
31. Become a cheese connoisseur
32. Become financially literate
33. Invest in the stock market
34. Create a college fund for my child (when the time comes)
35. Find the love of my life
36. Get married
37. Create a home with an inviting, loving, comfortable atmosphere
38. Start a blog
39. Own my own business
40. Go go-cart racing
41. Learn to ride a dirt bike (not just ride on the back of it :])
42. Grow a Bonsai Tree
43. Grown Orchids
44. Grow Bamboo
45. Have/build the perfect kitchen
46. Go to the x-games
47. Have a brightly colored garden
48. Plant a vegetable garden
49. Go to the Kentucky Derby, the Belmont and the Preakness
50. Go on a great trail ride
51. Visit the east coast
52. Write a letter to each of my children telling them what I want them to know about me and life lessons based on my experience
53. Dress up in an extravagant costume
54. Create a cookbook from family recipes
(to be continued...)
What are some things that you would add to your bucket list?
1. Ride a mechanical bull
2. Learn to bartend
3. Run a marathon
4. Ride in a hot air balloon
5. Learn to fly a plane
6. Learn to drive a manual transmission vehicle (I kind of know, but not well so..)
7. Learn to work on cars
8. Buy and/or rebuild a classic car
9. Travel to Tuscany, Italy
10. Oktober Fest in Germany
11. The Love Parade in Berlin, Germany
12. Visit Rome
13. Visit Seattle/Pike Place Market
14. Move to the ocean
15. Go on a cruise
16. Learn to surf
17. Write and book and publish it
18. Learn to play pool, well
19. Discover what makes me truly happy
20. Find my passions
21. Allow myself to make mistakes
22. Discover my life's purpose
23. Learn to not take what others do or say personally
24. Learn to be my own person
25. Develop general knowledge on important topics (ex. history of thought, knowledge, America. Learn geography. Politics)
26. Learn to spell well
27. Learn to do math well
28. Build a structure (ex. dog house, wooden chest)
29. Learn to be informed
30. Become a wine connoisseur
31. Become a cheese connoisseur
32. Become financially literate
33. Invest in the stock market
34. Create a college fund for my child (when the time comes)
35. Find the love of my life
36. Get married
37. Create a home with an inviting, loving, comfortable atmosphere
38. Start a blog
39. Own my own business
40. Go go-cart racing
41. Learn to ride a dirt bike (not just ride on the back of it :])
42. Grow a Bonsai Tree
43. Grown Orchids
44. Grow Bamboo
45. Have/build the perfect kitchen
46. Go to the x-games
47. Have a brightly colored garden
48. Plant a vegetable garden
49. Go to the Kentucky Derby, the Belmont and the Preakness
50. Go on a great trail ride
51. Visit the east coast
52. Write a letter to each of my children telling them what I want them to know about me and life lessons based on my experience
53. Dress up in an extravagant costume
54. Create a cookbook from family recipes
(to be continued...)
What are some things that you would add to your bucket list?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I'm taking control now.
I have been struggling with an idea for a while now. I thought I had figured it out, but I believe it is still a work in progress. I care too much about what people think. In regards to: what I do, what I say, how I act, how I look, how I dress, everything really. I'm one of those people that worries way too much about everything. I finally thought I had stopped caring so much. Besides about what the people I truly care about think. Ultimately their opinion, and my own are what matter to me.
I have this friend "B". She's my best friend. She is one of those people who matters to me. She is also a very sensitive, opinionated, tell it how she sees it kind of girl. She also has a lot of trust issues due to trauma in her past. I care way, way too much what she thinks. So much that it effects me in almost a negative way; I would say. I just want to be happy and you would think my best friend would just want to see me happy too right? Well this best friend I feel does want me happy, but she also wants me to do what she wants me to do. She likes to control situations, and she doesn't like to be wrong. I feel like she's disappointed in me if I don't do things her way.
I don't get why I have put myself in this situation. I care too much, my heart is just too big. Who knows.
Yesterday we got into a large argument. Large as in it lasted about two hours long. We discussed everything. I mean everything. Every skeleton came out of the closet. We both came clean about how we feel about each other, certain events in the past, and things we have said to each other. This is great and all, because now we can move on and get along again. Wrong! Its only time until it happens again.
We are both very similar, but at the same time so completely different. For example, "B" is one of those people that wont trust you until you have earned it. I on the other hand will give you my trust and I will continue to trust you until I am ever given a reason not to. I mean if your some crazy deranged psycho killer I wont just throw you my trust and say "hey, I trust you, you totally seem like a nice person deep down"; I do use common scene. I'm sure you understand where I am going with this. We don't agree on everything, and that is totally normal. It seems she needs her best friend to agree with her on everything, one-hundred percent of the time. Is that right? Should I have that pressure put upon me?
I keep wondering, "If I'm not supposed to worry about what other people think, then why do I have to care so much about what "B" thinks?" Its getting out of hand and it needs to stop. I have no idea how to slow down this high speed train. Where are the breaks?
-Should I feel like I have to walk on egg shells around my best friend for fear of her sensitivity?
-Should I really be calling her my best friend if I feel I can't be myself around her and just tell her how I really feel?
-Should a best friend hold me back from what makes me happy because she doesn't agree with it?
To that last questions, my argument is.. I am not an idiot, and I am not "naive" as "B" puts it, so when I want to do something that may seem a little risky, don't you think some thought has gone into it before hand? I don't do ridiculous stupid thinks as a hobby. Why can't you put your trust issues aside for a minute? Put your trust in someone for once. We may not all disappoint you like you think. There are good people in the world "B".
If you open your eyes and open your heart more, you will see the world is a place full of amazing, beautiful things. You just have to learn to trust. Its OK to fall and its OK to make mistakes. I'm not afraid anymore. I just want to put it all out on the line and hope for the best. This is my life. I'm taking control of it now!
I have this friend "B". She's my best friend. She is one of those people who matters to me. She is also a very sensitive, opinionated, tell it how she sees it kind of girl. She also has a lot of trust issues due to trauma in her past. I care way, way too much what she thinks. So much that it effects me in almost a negative way; I would say. I just want to be happy and you would think my best friend would just want to see me happy too right? Well this best friend I feel does want me happy, but she also wants me to do what she wants me to do. She likes to control situations, and she doesn't like to be wrong. I feel like she's disappointed in me if I don't do things her way.
I don't get why I have put myself in this situation. I care too much, my heart is just too big. Who knows.
Yesterday we got into a large argument. Large as in it lasted about two hours long. We discussed everything. I mean everything. Every skeleton came out of the closet. We both came clean about how we feel about each other, certain events in the past, and things we have said to each other. This is great and all, because now we can move on and get along again. Wrong! Its only time until it happens again.
We are both very similar, but at the same time so completely different. For example, "B" is one of those people that wont trust you until you have earned it. I on the other hand will give you my trust and I will continue to trust you until I am ever given a reason not to. I mean if your some crazy deranged psycho killer I wont just throw you my trust and say "hey, I trust you, you totally seem like a nice person deep down"; I do use common scene. I'm sure you understand where I am going with this. We don't agree on everything, and that is totally normal. It seems she needs her best friend to agree with her on everything, one-hundred percent of the time. Is that right? Should I have that pressure put upon me?
I keep wondering, "If I'm not supposed to worry about what other people think, then why do I have to care so much about what "B" thinks?" Its getting out of hand and it needs to stop. I have no idea how to slow down this high speed train. Where are the breaks?
-Should I feel like I have to walk on egg shells around my best friend for fear of her sensitivity?
-Should I really be calling her my best friend if I feel I can't be myself around her and just tell her how I really feel?
-Should a best friend hold me back from what makes me happy because she doesn't agree with it?
To that last questions, my argument is.. I am not an idiot, and I am not "naive" as "B" puts it, so when I want to do something that may seem a little risky, don't you think some thought has gone into it before hand? I don't do ridiculous stupid thinks as a hobby. Why can't you put your trust issues aside for a minute? Put your trust in someone for once. We may not all disappoint you like you think. There are good people in the world "B".
If you open your eyes and open your heart more, you will see the world is a place full of amazing, beautiful things. You just have to learn to trust. Its OK to fall and its OK to make mistakes. I'm not afraid anymore. I just want to put it all out on the line and hope for the best. This is my life. I'm taking control of it now!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Earth Day
How could I possibly forget. Its Earth Day today! Do something good like pick up a piece of trash. Or at least try not to be lazy and just don't litter to start with. If only for this one day out of the year. Just sayin'.
Oh and have a fantabulous birthday Miss.S [you will remain nameless because i feel the need to use five million profanities when I hear your name]. And please try not to get food poisoning, again, when you go out to that shushi dinner you have planned for your birthday tonight. Lovely thought though.
-Over and out.
Oh and have a fantabulous birthday Miss.S [you will remain nameless because i feel the need to use five million profanities when I hear your name]. And please try not to get food poisoning, again, when you go out to that shushi dinner you have planned for your birthday tonight. Lovely thought though.
-Over and out.
All me
it is all about me this time..
what i want, where i want to go, what i want to do and who i want to see there.
selfish? maybe.
i've started to learn that sometimes in life you need to be selfish to get where you want. to not get walked all over, even if that means hurting someone unintentionally...or intentionally along the way. i need to do it for myself. i want to be bold, brassy, adventurous, daring, and unsuppressed. yes! all of them! i want to change me into someone i'm proud to be. i've finally found one amazing someone who seems to just bring it out in me, so its become just that much easier of a goal.
i want to shoot for the starts and not get shot down. or at least i want to shoot for the starts and stop caring about those people trying to shoot me down along the way. i don't give myself extremely ridiculous expectations, so that one time i try for something outrageous sounding...just let me for once. i'm sure it will be an amazing journey. maybe i will get some bumps and bruises along the way but who cares? i don't. i want whats best for me; i have my own goals, expectations and pressures on myself. i don't need yours added. maybe i can be wacky and crazy, but....if you know me, that's why you love me :)
i'm not here to whine like the little girl i am. i'm here to grow. to change. to be different.
so maybe i don't capitalize any of the i's in this blog, or capitalize any of the letters at beginning of sentences. i don't do it, because i just plain can. to do what you want, when you want to. well that to me is being different. you're the plaid sheep.
in the future of this blog i will take you through the life of me, my brilliant job as a barista (and yes that means all of those amazing stories of lovely customers who like to try to make my day miserable), my lovely someone who you will i'm sure hear much more about soon, and our future plans, travels and adventures that will be starting very, very soon. be excited.
and please. its pronounces barista, with the i sounding as an e, not bariiiista. it drives me nuts.
what i want, where i want to go, what i want to do and who i want to see there.
selfish? maybe.
i've started to learn that sometimes in life you need to be selfish to get where you want. to not get walked all over, even if that means hurting someone unintentionally...or intentionally along the way. i need to do it for myself. i want to be bold, brassy, adventurous, daring, and unsuppressed. yes! all of them! i want to change me into someone i'm proud to be. i've finally found one amazing someone who seems to just bring it out in me, so its become just that much easier of a goal.
i want to shoot for the starts and not get shot down. or at least i want to shoot for the starts and stop caring about those people trying to shoot me down along the way. i don't give myself extremely ridiculous expectations, so that one time i try for something outrageous sounding...just let me for once. i'm sure it will be an amazing journey. maybe i will get some bumps and bruises along the way but who cares? i don't. i want whats best for me; i have my own goals, expectations and pressures on myself. i don't need yours added. maybe i can be wacky and crazy, but....if you know me, that's why you love me :)
i'm not here to whine like the little girl i am. i'm here to grow. to change. to be different.
so maybe i don't capitalize any of the i's in this blog, or capitalize any of the letters at beginning of sentences. i don't do it, because i just plain can. to do what you want, when you want to. well that to me is being different. you're the plaid sheep.
in the future of this blog i will take you through the life of me, my brilliant job as a barista (and yes that means all of those amazing stories of lovely customers who like to try to make my day miserable), my lovely someone who you will i'm sure hear much more about soon, and our future plans, travels and adventures that will be starting very, very soon. be excited.
and please. its pronounces barista, with the i sounding as an e, not bariiiista. it drives me nuts.
